Haruhi Suzumiya: Reality Warper
by Quicquidlibet
Summary: Kyon has been missing for two months. Haruhi is determined to find him. Does the new homeroom teacher John Smith have any connections to his disappearance? On hiatus.
1. Prologue

Prologue.

POV: Kyon.

* * *

I was never meant to live a normal life, was I?

In my third year of middle school, if you were to tell me that in my first year of high school I would hang out with an alien, a time traveler, and an ESPer, I would have avoided you. In high school, I found that, wouldn't you know it, those three are who I hung out with. How did I come to hang out with them you ask? Well, that's simple. Haruhi Suzumiya.

Haruhi was normal, at least when compared to the other three. Compared to me and the other humans, not so much. Haruhi was always searching for anything not normal. "Not normal" usually meant "supernatural" or something like that.

Which is why in my first year of high school, she dragged me to the Literary Club room to take it over and create the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade" or SOS Brigade for short. Then she proceeded to force the only Literary Club member, first year Yuki Nagato, and two other students, second year Mikuru Asahina and first year transfer student Itsuki Koizumi, to join the brigade.

Later I found that Nagato was actually a humanoid interface, or an alien, Asahina was a time traveler, and Koizumi was an ESPer. And Haruhi still didn't know. Well, I told her, but she didn't believe me.

About a month into our second year of high school, my life got even weirder. Every month, the SOS Brigade met up on the weekend and searched for who knows what. On my way home, I was on the train when a man sat down next to me.

Now, if the following incident had happened to me before I met Haruhi, I would have just brushed him off as some drunk guy. Except this guy was completely sober and I knew Haruhi.

"Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually an alien," he said to me after he sat down. Okay, he was a little drunk, because if he wasn't at least a little bit, he probably wouldn't have told me that. But he did. And being me, I believed him.

I've traveled throughout time and space with the Doctor for about two years now, but in my original time period, only two months have passed.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

POV: 3rd omniscient.

* * *

Kyon watched as the Doctor ran about the TARDIS. He only half listened to the excited babble pouring non-stop out of the Time Lord's mouth.

"The TARDIS has detected something that is messing with reality in Japan! I'd say it's a reality-warper, but they've been extinct for centuries, so what is it?" the Doctor rattled off at a pace that Kyon could barely keep up with. There was more but he couldn't be bothered to keep listening.

"Where are we going this time?" Kyon asked in a bored tone. He had heard Japan somewhere in the Doctor's longwinded explanation, but Japan was quite large, and he wanted to be ready. Plus, there was always the unspoken 'when are we going this time?' in his question.

"2002, Kouyou Park Station!" the Doctor announced cheerfully. Kyon froze. He knew where they were going, and he didn't like it. Then something in what he heard the Doctor say earlier clicked in his brain.

"These reality-warpers, do they look like humans?" he asked cautiously, thinking of a certain girl.

"Yes," the Doctor replied, turning serious when he heard Kyon's tone.

"Then I know who's causing the reality warp. The reality-warpers aren't as extinct as you thought," Kyon stated gravely. "Haruhi Suzumiya is warping reality in Japan, and she doesn't know it."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

POV: 3rd omniscient.

* * *

Haruhi actually liked Kyon, despite how it looked to others, what with the fact that she bossed him around all the time. So when he went missing, the SOS Brigade had a new mission: find Kyon, ASAP. Of course, this meant that the longer he was missing, the worse her mood got.

Two months had passed and Haruhi's mood was obviously terrible. She snapped when anyone talked to her, especially the teachers, because when Kyon had gone missing, they had automatically assumed that she had something to do with it, an assumption that thoroughly irritated her. Her behavior was so bad that Okabe couldn't stand it any longer and simply refused to teach in the same building as her. And so, class I-5 received a new homeroom teacher.

"Hello class! My name is John Smith! Now, first things first. What am I supposed to be teaching?" the new teacher exclaimed enthusiastically.

Normally, Haruhi would have been extremely interested as to why they had a teacher who spoke fluent Japanese, yet had an English name, and had no idea what he was supposed to be teaching. But since she still had not found Kyon, she could only dwell on it for a second before returning to the matter of Kyon.

"This is homeroom. You aren't supposed to teach us anything," Taniguchi told the teacher.

"Really? Aww, but I was looking forward to quizzing you guys randomly," Mr. Smith complained. "I know! I'll quiz you on all subjects! First question! Why don't you all introduce yourselves?"

The class then repeated the things they said on their first day of high school, except for Haruhi, who had a new speech this time.

"Haruhi Suzumiya. From East Middle School. I have no interest in ordinary humans. All I want is to find Kyon," she stated, glaring at Mr. Smith.

"Kyon? Average height, brown hair, annoyingly sarcastic?" The teacher asked suddenly after Haruhi's introduction.

"Have you seen him?" she asked, perking up instantly.

"Nope!" he replied, grinning broadly. Haruhi's glare returned.

"Then why'd you ask?" she snapped.

"No reason. Now, let's continue with the introductions!" John Smith's grin got even broader as Haruhi's glare intensified.

Haruhi decided that Mr. Smith was suspicious and he needed to be investigated. During lunch, she informed the remaining brigade members of their new mission: follow John Smith and find as much information about him as possible.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

POV: 3rd omniscient.

* * *

To put it simply, Kyon was lost. Now, you're probably thinking "how did he get lost in his own hometown?" Well, you see, he wasn't lost in his hometown. He was lost in the TARDIS.

Kyon, who had nothing better to do, had decided to stay in the TARDIS. But, the TARDIS can be pretty boring without the Doctor in it. So Kyon had decided to explore the many rooms within. Not exactly a bright idea.

The Doctor had gone undercover as a teacher in order to investigate Haruhi, which is why Kyon was on his own. Kyon wouldn't be able to contact him until school let out. He checked the time on his phone for about the twelfth time since he got lost. Three o'clock. He could call the Doctor.

"Ello!" the Doctor said when he picked up. Kyon went straight to the point.

"I'm lost," he stated bluntly.

"In your own hometown? Wow, you've been away too long!" the Doctor exclaimed.

Kyon rolled his eyes, a gesture lost on the Doctor, considering how they were on the phone, not face to face. "No, I'm lost in the TARDIS."

"Oh. That's a problem. Can you describe the room for me?" the Doctor replied. Kyon couldn't fathom how he managed to stay cheerful through any situation.

"There's a lot of couches," Kyon responded. The TARDIS had some of the weirdest rooms.

"Oh! The Couch Room! Go through the left door, into the Pool Room, then into the Wheel Room, go into the Library, take the third door, and you're back in the hallway! You should be able to find your way from there," the Doctor exclaimed. Kyon was completely baffled at the fact that the Doctor knew the way, but didn't question it.

The Doctor grinned when he got back. "Well, it seems that Miss Suzumiya is looking for you, Kyon."

Kyon just groaned. He was never going to get away from her, was he?


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

POV: 3rd omniscient.

* * *

By now, the SOS Brigade was getting worried. Haruhi was focusing on Kyon, and if anything made her mood unstable, the world could go kaput. And they didn't want that. So they were actually happy that she told them to investigate John Smith. Until they found out that she thought he was somehow connected to Kyon. But even so, they investigated him none the less.

Koizumi had taken the job of stalking- er, I mean monitoring him. And then the man went into a blue box. So Koizumi did what any reasonable person would do if they saw a strange person go in a strange place. He followed. Except, when he tried the door, it was locked. So he knocked.

Kyon and the Doctor were talking about the Doctor's observations at the school when they heard the strangest thing. A knock. So, the Doctor, being the danger-loving Doctor that he is, opened the door if the TARDIS.

"Ello! Can I help you?" he grinned. Yup, Kyon decided, the Doctor was a lunatic with no sense of self-preservation. But despite that, he went a stood next to said lunatic.

"Kyon?" Crap.


	6. Chapter 5

**So, I just realized that I didn't have a disclaimer. I don't own Doctor Who or Haruhi Suzumiya. There, now I have one. **

**Also, I am a huge fan of the Rose/Ten pairing, so I'm going to include it. I know she wasn't in the first chapters, but just you watch, I'll get it in there! **

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

**POV: 3rd omniscient. **

* * *

"Get in." Kyon grabbed Koizumi by the arm and dragged him into the TARDIS, slamming the door shut.

"Who's this?" The Doctor asked bemusedly. "A friend?"

"He's the ESPer I told you about," Kyon replied, ignoring Koizumi's look of irritation at his secret being spilled without his permission.

"The annoying one?"

"Yeah. The very same."

"Ah. He was in the Brigade, right?"

"Yeah. Haruhi probably had him follow you."

Just then, Kyon's phone ring.

"Hello?" Koizumi watched in utter confusion as Kyon suddenly switched from Japanese to English. "Rose?"

"Kyon! Is the Doctor there? Or did he wander off again?" came a female voice from the cell phone, also in English. Kyon chuckled.

"No. We're both in the TARDIS. He got another teaching job." Luckily for Koizumi, his organization had had him learn English, so he knew exactly what Kyon was saying.

"He does love teaching."

"Yeah, I guessed from all the lectures he's given since we first met."

"He never shuts up does he? Anyway, can you come pick me up? My day is over where I am."

"Alright. Here, I'll give the Doctor the phone so you can tell him the time and stuff."

Koizumi watched as John Smith, as he knew from school, took the phone and started talking at such a fast pace that Koizumi couldn't keep up with.

"So, Haruhi had you follow him, right?" Kyon asked, turning to Koizumi and switching back to Japanese.

"You speak fluent English?" Koizumi asked, not answering Kyon's question.

"No, that's the TARDIS translating. I hear everything in Japanese, Rose and the Doctor hear everything in English. So, now that I've answered your question, answer mine. Did Haruhi have you follow the Doctor?"

"You mean John Smith-sensei?" Koizumi asked, guarded.

"Sensei... Not used to calling him that..." Kyon muttered with a chuckle.

"Kyon! It's time to pick up Rose! Allons-y!" the Doctor shouted, pulling a lever.

Koizumi just barely managed to grab hold of something as the TARDIS jerked.

* * *

**So, in this story, Rose was visiting a friend in London while Kyon and the Doctor went on ahead. Yeah…**


End file.
